11 Ways To Make Great Friends As An Introvert

Being an active participant (asking AND answering questions) in the conversation leads to more meaningful friendships. This falls under the people-pleasing umbrella and makes any friendship one-sided, which isn’t fair on your extroverted friend or person. You just need to find people who resonate with you. Being authentic in a friendship lets the other person know they can be their authentic self too, and that makes a really special bond where you hold space for each other with no judgment.

Ways To Make Great Friends As An Introvert

This step may be combined with step #4 on how you should make the first move, but the step can stand on its own. It’s typical for introverts to follow the lead of others – usually extroverts because it removes the spotlight from you. To start making virtual but genuine friends, start with these 15 friend-making apps.

How To Make Friends As An Introvert

Plus, society and mass media (movies, TV shows, and more) have made it the norm to have a bestie or two (or tons of friends). You are made to feel left out (and like something is wrong with you) if you are more of a loner (though not necessarily for a lack of trying to have friends). The work environment is made to suit extroverts (#OpenPlanOffices), and that’s why extroverted personality types are usually promoted and make it in management positions.

Plus, you can only have real, deep friendships when you are unequivocally yourself. There are benefits to trying new things and getting out of your comfort zone, even though I know this doesn’t come easily for us introverts. You need to especially think about branching out to make friends if your current interests don’t give you many opportunities to connect with others. That’s how you bond, and shared interests give you something to chat about.

On the contrary, you likely float through our busy mind quite a bit when we’re apart. However, as friends, we know we’ll see each other again, and we’d rather catch up in a way that’s meaningful — in person, favorite beverage in hand, one-on-one. Do you know what it’s like to live with an inner monologue that never shuts up?

On the other hand, introverts need time by themselves to recharge because being around others is mentally taxing. As such, if you are an introvert, you know how wonderful it is to be in a quiet and more intimate environment – by yourself or with a small group of your inner circle. If you’re friends with an introvert, you’ll have to accept that there will be some nights and weekends when we’re just too drained to go out — or even to text you. A quality introverted friend will communicate to you about their need for alone time (rather than leaving you on read) and will assure you that their absence is nothing personal.

Don’t feel pressured to build a large social circle. Early in my marketing career, I felt overwhelmed by the idea of networking and making work friends. Look for colleagues you already chat with casually, especially fellow introverts who prefer one-on-one lunch conversations over big group outings.

These days, I make an effort to share my thoughts spontaneously, but I think it will always be in my nature to hold back. Plus, in my perfect world, all of us would only speak when we have something of real value to say — not just empty words. Honestly, as an introvert, sometimes it doesn’t even dawn on me to verbalize what is running through my mind. Don’t pry, but do ask us how we are or what we think. Between the anxiety (introvert vs social anxiety) and the exhaustion of traditional socializing, many introverts end up feeling stuck and lonely. It’s time to start asking questions and taking the lead now and again, instead of always answering and following (#Sheeple).

• And I don’t mean, « I’m an extrovert putting on an introvert hat to give you advice! » I mean, cancel plans because the idea of new people is overwhelming introvert.
• After all, introverts tend to embody these 17 qualities that make a great friend.
• You know those extroverts that you need to gear up for, the ones that carry the conversation effortlessly and make new friends everywhere they go?

Even group exercise classes such as yoga, spinning, or pick-up sports teams make for a good start. And I don’t mean, « I’m an extrovert putting on an introvert hat to give you advice! » I mean, cancel plans because the idea of new people is overwhelming introvert. We need to meet new people, and even though we don’t need much, we need to socialize. Drawing from extensive research and decades of firsthand experience, Kyle empowers introverts with proven strategies to thrive in an extroverted world while staying true to themselves. That voice telling you you’re being too pushy? Most people appreciate direct, friendly invitations.

Yes, Introverts And Extroverts Can Be Good Friends Here’s How

The ones you’ve always wanted to know more. It doesn’t need to be face-to-face; sliding into someone’s DMs is a great way to make friends. Having something in common is an easy way to strike up a conversation with someone new. And ensure you don’t drift into small talk too quickly. Join a club, such as a book club or sewing circle, or even a professional group that pertains to your career.

I’m sure you, my fellow introvert, have noticed. An extrovert seems to be like a lighted candle, and all the moths (aka many friends) are just attracted to the candle and dance and flutter about. Speaking for myself, if I’ve starved myself of enough social contact, sometimes I can be the Latinfeels life of the party. Introversion and extroversion are on « opposite ends of a continuum » and not a binary, says William Chopik, a social-personality psychologist at Michigan State University. « People mostly fall somewhere in between those two extremes. » I’ve never confronted my extroverted friends about this.

Kahnweiler, who trains leaders, teams and organizations on how to help introverts thrive in an extroverted world, shares tips on how both personalities can get along. Of course, spontaneity has a time and place. However, as I explained in #1, introverts generally need time to mentally prepare to be “on” — even if we’re hanging out with a close friend who we’ve known for decades. Every introvert is different, but I prefer to be asked about social plans at least a day in advance. Introverts like to talk, too, but we’re often loathe to interrupt, because we know how it feels to have your train of thought derailed. So, if you’re my friend, please make sure that I get an opportunity to talk, too.

She also has a bracelet she wears to remind herself to listen and not just rush to fill the silence. Introverts gripe that extroverts can’t be alone, talk too much, hate silence, interrupt and are poor listeners. Later, she learned that her coworker thought she was being rude. They didn’t know each other well enough for such private questions.

Introverts don’t make friends easily or at all because it’s hard for people to get to know them. Extroverts can be just as rude and unfriendly. But that doesn’t mean that your introverted or extroverted personality affects how kind and friendly you are. This may be an extreme example of what an extrovert is like, but there are some fundamental differences between an introvert and an extrovert.

Remember, if we consider you a friend, we consider you a treasure. Most people will never see our goofy side or our melancholy side, or hear the midnight ramblings of our wild introverted minds — but we have chosen you to partake. In other words, you’re pretty damn special to us. Unlike extroverts, we introverts probably won’t text you multiple times a day — or even every day. Our quietness doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten about you.